Monday, October 1, 2007

Which Lover are you Jack of Diamonds?

My band has finally been making some significant headway. We've been playing a number of gigs in the City, and have been receiving very positive feedback. We play shows that are incredible fun, that seem to greatly entertain people, and at the end of a show-night, we just look at each other, with these stupid grins on our faces, like, "we're living the dream!"

And we are, technically speaking. When we were in high school together, my bandmates and I eagerly awaited the day that we would all come home from college, free to pursue our creative drives. It was like that rosy picture of the future that gets you through the day but that you never reasonably expect to come true. So, even though we're a bottom-rung-of-the-ladder band, playing dives and weeknights, every time we crack open a beer during a break in practice, we feel like damn lucky bastards.

This weekend, I traveled to North Carolina, where my girlfriend is enrolled in a graduate program. Every morning, I woke up with someone I love dearly, walked around a beautiful (if small) liberal, artistic town (ok, that now narrows down the list of cities to about... two) went on bike rides, read (Herodotus, as well as the superb graphic novel DMZ), and felt alive in the way one does in the presence of love.

We've done the distance thing before, she and I. And its the longest, most frustrating emotional roller-coaster.
But if I leave the art that I've craved for so long in order to be with her, then can I still be the person I am in the relationship?

OK, Charlotte, what's the point?

Well, if home is people, then home is either multiple, or scattered, necessarily. And perhaps which one is decided by me, internally.

I just got off of the plane, I'm not thinking terribly clearly. But I will have to think more on this.

I have other things to write: about a new project of mine, and about where I've been for so long (*weeks* without an entry!), but that'll have to wait until tomorrow.